Do you know what it means, do you know how it feels, to be one of the living at a time when you are dead?
To not be of that world, the one you left behind, or be fully in that one, the one that is ahead.
You are able to move but you can barely walk. You are able to say words but you can barely talk. You are very sensitive but you can barely sense. You remember how to remember but you can barely think.
You are able to hear but you very barely know. It’s hard for you to understand, and so painfully so. You are able to look but you can barely see. You’re hanging in midair; you don’t have any wings.
To not be able to rewind and start all over again, or be able to move on, and fly far far away.
Do you know what it means when everything means nothing? Do you know how it feels when you cannot feel?
Earth Magic Oracle Card
Fog is simply a low cloud, a blanket of water crystals that has not gained the density of raindrops. The thicker it is, the more it shrouds in it’s damp, billowy arms. It can be so thick that it makes it nearly impossible to see directly in front of us. During those times, silence makes its own sound as we pause and allow ourselves to be enveloped in this shroud of impenetrable density. We may even feel as if we can do nothing but be still and await what is to be revealed.
Yet even within the thickest fog, we can be assured that it will eventually turn off as the sun’s rays infiltrate the veil. Once they do so, we can anticipate how the light and warmth will bring us welcome relief from the cold. As the sun continues to disperse the fog, our surroundings become illuminated, and we have the opportunity to continue onward.
You are enmeshed in confusion and uncertainty, and are unsure if it will ever clear up. This is not the best time to make decisions, particularly any major ones. Know that this foggy veil will eventually dissolve. Although there may be ways you are unconsciously contributing to this state, the greater truth is that this is simply a cycle you are moving through, and like all things, this too shall pass.
Allow yourself to feel confused – in fact, decide to be confused. No matter what attempts you make right now to make things happen or move in any specific direction out of impatience or frustration, you risk only creating more confusion and uncertainty. So, be still and patient. Wait for that first glimmer of awareness to life the veil so that you can see the choices before you more clearly and can then choose to align yourself with the will of Spirit.
A plate of pain keeps the potential heartbreaker away. Two glasses of my old tears daily will help me not go astray. I am strong and I need no one’s attention, but I want to be desired, and I want affection, but I was hurt, I don’t want a repetition, but I want love, and I can feel the tension.
I don’t cry. I don’t cry anymore because there’s a pool of my tears in my heart, and I like to swim in it, or go down, down, down, and drown, when a potential One comes too close to my feelings’ flat. If anyone is to decide when I drown, it has to be me, myself and I. Would you give another potential pretentious, manipulative dingbat a chance to decide when you die?
Six planets are in retrograde in my natal chart, and venus used to be one of them, but she’s not anymore. My venus is dead; a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.
I was licking my wounds but you stopped me. You wanted to do it so I let you. You licked and sucked till my wounds became scars. Then, you cut me again at the exact same spots.
So, here I am, a damn mess, studying our synastry chart for the 50th time, fiddling with tarot cards, tiredlessly hoping you’d come back. I want your tongue and yours alone, and I know that even if you return, you would lick me up so you can cut me again.
In Japan, ceramics are not thrown away when they are broken/shattered. Instead, they are repaired through an ancient practice called kintsugi (金継ぎ), or kintsukuroi (金繕い), and it literally means golden (“kin”) repair (“tsugi”). The broken pieces are attached together with precious metal– liquid gold, liquid silver or lacquer dusted with powdered gold, and the bowl, cup or whatever the ceramic is, is beautifully enhanced after the process.
The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not to be hidden. Instead, they are to be displayed with pride.
What we can all learn from this is that we can heal beautifully if we allow ourselves to go through the process. It’s up to us to decide whether we want to dispose ourselves- our desires for love, happiness, success and good change- or choose to heal our wounds with liquid gold, irrespective of how much it hurts.
Scars from our healing are not to be hidden. The saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” definitely applies here.
Her hair is laid, her nails, made, she wants to go out to find love today. She’s pacing, she’s running, but she’s sitting in front of her mirror. She’s going to look for ‘the one’, anywhere and anyhow necessary, but she won’t find him.
She has been running from herself; she has been looking for herself. She’s the one; she’s the only one, and the love she so desperately seeks must come from her heart. No man’s love will satisfy her for long; it will only last for a while, but she won’t admit that.
She wants someone else to breathe for her; she doesn’t know how to breathe on her own. She wants someone else to live with her; she doesn’t know how to live on her own. She is alive in appearance, and that body could bring a dead man back to life, but she is dying. Her heart is very weak, and her soul has been crying. If you don’t love yourself, why would you expect someone else to?
Let the pain come, pleasure it properly, cry if you need to, but let it go. Let the pain go.
We experience pain for our own pleasure; we experience the past for the sake of our future. We get too scared of death, but we shouldn’t. We do need to die; we need to die to live eternally. No one gets the second without the first; accept change and transformation.
The moon won’t shine bright without darkness; it won’t appear to say “hello”. If you are filled with so much sadness, if your light of joy is really low, your heart is plagued with heavy emptiness, and happiness’ middle name is currently “Slow”, stay strong in this moment of darkness, the moon’ll be right there to make it glow.