A plate of pain keeps the potential heartbreaker away. Two glasses of my old tears daily will help me not go astray. I am strong and I need no one’s attention, but I want to be desired, and I want affection, but I was hurt, I don’t want a repetition, but I want love, and I can feel the tension.
I don’t cry. I don’t cry anymore because there’s a pool of my tears in my heart, and I like to swim in it, or go down, down, down, and drown, when a potential One comes too close to my feelings’ flat. If anyone is to decide when I drown, it has to be me, myself and I. Would you give another potential pretentious, manipulative dingbat a chance to decide when you die?
Six planets are in retrograde in my natal chart, and venus used to be one of them, but she’s not anymore. My venus is dead; a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.
I was licking my wounds but you stopped me. You wanted to do it so I let you. You licked and sucked till my wounds became scars. Then, you cut me again at the exact same spots.
So, here I am, a damn mess, studying our synastry chart for the 50th time, fiddling with tarot cards, tiredlessly hoping you’d come back. I want your tongue and yours alone, and I know that even if you return, you would lick me up so you can cut me again.
In Japan, ceramics are not thrown away when they are broken/shattered. Instead, they are repaired through an ancient practice called kintsugi (金継ぎ), or kintsukuroi (金繕い), and it literally means golden (“kin”) repair (“tsugi”). The broken pieces are attached together with precious metal– liquid gold, liquid silver or lacquer dusted with powdered gold, and the bowl, cup or whatever the ceramic is, is beautifully enhanced after the process.
The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not to be hidden. Instead, they are to be displayed with pride.
What we can all learn from this is that we can heal beautifully if we allow ourselves to go through the process. It’s up to us to decide whether we want to dispose ourselves- our desires for love, happiness, success and good change- or choose to heal our wounds with liquid gold, irrespective of how much it hurts.
Scars from our healing are not to be hidden. The saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” definitely applies here.
Her hair is laid, her nails, made, she wants to go out to find love today. She’s pacing, she’s running, but she’s sitting in front of her mirror. She’s going to look for ‘the one’, anywhere and anyhow necessary, but she won’t find him.
She has been running from herself; she has been looking for herself. She’s the one; she’s the only one, and the love she so desperately seeks must come from her heart. No man’s love will satisfy her for long; it will only last for a while, but she won’t admit that.
She wants someone else to breathe for her; she doesn’t know how to breathe on her own. She wants someone else to live with her; she doesn’t know how to live on her own. She is alive in appearance, and that body could bring a dead man back to life, but she is dying. Her heart is very weak, and her soul has been crying. If you don’t love yourself, why would you expect someone else to?
Let the pain come, pleasure it properly, cry if you need to, but let it go. Let the pain go.
We experience pain for our own pleasure; we experience the past for the sake of our future. We get too scared of death, but we shouldn’t. We do need to die; we need to die to live eternally. No one gets the second without the first; accept change and transformation.
The moon won’t shine bright without darkness; it won’t appear to say “hello”. If you are filled with so much sadness, if your light of joy is really low, your heart is plagued with heavy emptiness, and happiness’ middle name is currently “Slow”, stay strong in this moment of darkness, the moon’ll be right there to make it glow.