Love ‘IsReal’- ‘MicHeal’ Jackson

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Painted by freckledmestiza

When I was in SS3 [last year of high school], my Literature-in-English teacher—Papa Ade—did something that I never forgot. Pa Ade was my father, so to speak, because I was living away from home at the time; I lived in the school’s girls’ hostel/dormitory. I called him ‘Baba’, and I spent a lot of time with him in his office and in the library. He was (and of course, still is) a senior [he taught one of my classmate’s mother], and that was enough reason for me to love him. Natally, I have Saturn in the 1st house, and as a child, I remember feeling very out of place, like the ugly duckling, among other children, but happy among the adults. I liked to listen to them, and terribly hated it when I was told to cover my ears or close my eyes or go play with my mates.

I loved Pa Ade, and I got very close to him. I was also very curious about him, about what had happened between him and his wife, and he told me all I needed to know. I couldn’t say the same about many of my classmates though. They found his style of teaching rather archaic, and the fact that we had to have a dictionary each time we had lessons with him really pissed a few off. He was very particular about it- expect to be flogged or embarrassed if you don’t have your dictionary. I genuinely liked to read to the class whenever I had a chance, and we would take turns reading parts of the books/novels, sometimes. I enjoyed Baba’s class very much.

I am an introvert, but I tried to portray myself as an extrovert in Senior Secondary School. I had been bullied/made fun of, a good number of times, in Junior Secondary School [which was a different school entirely] due to a supposed ‘lack of exposure’, and I wasn’t going to have it in Senior Secondary School. My mantra was a bit like “I don’t want nobody fucking with me in these streets.” Whether it brought me more hate or not, I don’t know, but I made it clear- I wasn’t going to be pushed around. Now that I’m older and I see that I have Lilith in the 5th house natally, ‘boom’, my feeling out of place among my mates as a child seems to make a lot of sense.

Where am I going with these memories? I don’t know. I’ll write more about my experiences in the future. None of these things that I keep remembering and mentioning has anything to do with this article; on second thought, maybe they all do.

Back to the occurrence that happened that I will never forget: Pa Adeniyi came to class one day and walked straight to Israel, my classmate. As it turned out, Israel had spelled his name as ‘Isreal’, and that had really pissed Baba off. He must have hit him with his rubber ‘cane’ [he hit me once with it in class before we got close, and it really hurt] if I remember clearly. Israel was livid. I guess it traumatized me since I began to pay more attention to my work, ensuring that I never made that mistake (or a similar one) from then on.

Lately, I have been typing or writing ‘Michael’ as ‘Micheal’ subconsciously, and then correcting it as quickly as I realize my mistake, sometimes embarrassingly, and I have found it very interesting. I had been ignoring it until I literally asked myself the ‘what for?’ question today. ‘I know how to spell ‘Michael’, and ‘Israel’; why is my brain ‘moving mad’ and acting this way?’ Then I looked closely and immediately realized what the message was- MicHEAL. I have been noticing 11:11s and 1:11s far more frequently than other number synchronicities lately, and I believe that this too, MicHEAL, is a message.

Michael Jackson is still very much a healer, even as a spirit, not only due to the messages/energies that he put out to the world via the music that he made when he was with us in the flesh, but because he is doing lightwork and awakening/communicating with lightworkers/healers, with the help of the angels and his spiritual squad, even though he doesn’t live like us anymore. Michael is not disturbed as a spirit due to all the lies that are being told against him. It is all for a purpose, and people are being awakened to the kind of soul that Michael really was and still is, much more than they were.

Being kind to one another, taking care of and loving children, being childlike but not childish- these and more were Michael’s messages. I don’t want to read too much into how I feel because it is not necessary. Whether this is a call for me to be encouraged in my healing work or address my suppressed emotions, I cannot profoundly claim to know. I know that it could be both.

Coincidentally, it is Children’s Day in Nigeria- May 27, and I have been trying to think of what to put out on my Instagram page to that effect. I thought about posting a video of Michael delivering a speech while he was receiving the NAACP Awards in 1993. I have attached the video to this post but this is my favourite part of what he said:

“In every person,
there is a secret song in their heart.
It says ‘I am free.
It sings ‘I am one’.
This is the natural feeling of every child-
to be free as the wind,
to be one with every other child.
All the trouble in the world is caused by forgetting this feeling,
and when I perform,
my connection is with the people,
just to remind me of that-
to be free and to be one.

Michael is telling us (like he has always done) that we should open ourselves up for healing, and by doing so, we will heal one another and heal our earth. The big question is ‘how’, and the answer appears to be simple, in theory, at least. We must be child-like; again, not childish, child-like. We must be forgiving (of others, and most-especially, ourselves), loving, kind, compassionate, and free.

We must return to what we once were before ‘life’ began, what we were sent to this consciousness to be. We must learn lessons without learning pain and bitterness, and if we have learnt bitterness, we must unlearn it. 

Love is real. 

On Spirituality: ‘Isan Lo Pa Bruce Lee’

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“Janine at 39, Mother of Twins” is a 2000 oil on canvas by Margaret Garcia.

My people can be quite “funny”.

Whenever you start to get extra passionate about something, Nigerians (that belong to a certain category) will tell you “gbe isan sile”, “isan lo pa Bruce Lee”, agidi lo pa Tupac”, which translates to “relax your muscles/nerves”, “muscles [flexing] killed Bruce Lee, stubbornness killed Tupac”. It’s not so amusing when you translate it to English, is it? #LostInTranslation

We all know that the aforementioned statements are incorrect. Bruce Lee didn’t die while flexing his muscles, and although Tupac was stubborn (sometimes, unnecessarily so), his stubbornness didn’t kill him per se; he was shot. Somehow, my people have connected who these people were to the causes of their deaths. I find these statements rude, by the way, extremely rude, but I’ll confess that I chuckle when I hear them. 

Lately, I have been very upset, almost angry, that my spiritual/psychic growth has been rather slow. I assist people intuitively through tarot/oracle card readings and all, but, I really am not where I want to be. I want to see things more vividly and feel things more distinctly, but, I’ve not been able to experience the strong, crystal-clear connections that I seek. 

I wasn’t here 2-6 years ago. Haha! Nope! I was struggling, dying, to put it lightly, and I didn’t know too much about my life path and purpose. I was depressed, and my weight gain was far too rapid, in my opinion, within those years. What I was forgetting, until it was brought to my attention via a reading that I did for myself (and a video that I found), was the importance of patience and taking things easy. I discovered that I was a nun or a priestess in my past life, a bit of a hermit/recluse, and if I really was a priestess (since it has been confirmed over and over again), my soul probably misses being able to connect more, spiritually. I terribly miss the heightened levels of intuition and the spiritual gifts that I probably used to have, and so I want them back. It must be the reason I was getting so upset about having to start from scratch, so to speak.

My life path number is 7, and seeking for more spiritual knowledge and connection is a part of who I am, but I mustn’t be so obsessed about it that I forget the importance of patience and living in the present. In that video, this one, Amanda was using the analogy of wanting a relationship so bad, so intensely, that you scare the other person off and end up ruining everything. Ouch! 

So these spiritual gifts and abilities are coming, more ideas and inspiration too, and there really is no need to rush it or get it all in a day. Things don’t work that way, and it’s not that I didn’t know that; I really don’t know what I was thinking.

To other lightworkers like me, teachers and healers, who desire a stronger connection to the spirit realm so deeply, it’s a process. There is no need to rush. As long as we stay connected and hopeful, and do whatever we can with what we already have, Spirit and our other spirit guides will take care of the rest, and make us stronger.

How to Heal Your Hurt Inner Child

       I was an extremely sensitive child. If you are into astrology, my ascendant is in Pisces, and my Saturn is in Aries, in the first house. I felt everything. I still do feel everything, but I know how to manage my emotions better. Things that children my age were able to brush off and move on from quickly affected me deeply; they stayed in my mind longer than they would in the mind of the average child. I wasn’t really understood either. I have a Pythagorean line of hypersensitivity in numerology. I am an empath, and not all parents know what to do with one.

         One of the few sentences that I remember my mum always said to me as a child was ‘Rónké̩, o ké̩ra jù, which roughly translates to me being someone who likes to pamper her body and avoid the slightest difficulty. It wasn’t really a compliment, in case you are wondering. My sensitivity to the environment made me a bit withdrawn even till early teenagehood, especially among people who were my own age. I got so devastated many times.

         My sweet mum constantly reported me to Sunday School teachers, and repeatedly called me a “saddist” [I don’t think she knew what it meant; she thought it had something to do with being sad all the time] because I was shy, and I always felt out of place.  Also, I had a lot of low self-esteem issues, especially because it wasn’t that easy for me to express my individuality as it was for other people. There are a lot of retrogrades in my birth chart; a lot of things that need repair and care in this lifetime.

         Many of us attempt to heal our wounded inner children [who experienced all the chaos and pain, even in settings that others often considered “heavenly”- it has nothing to do with wealth or poverty] by trying to have others heal it for us through love relationships. That’s laughable. It almost never works out. We become possessive, needy, toxic, and out of balance. Love relationships are not avenues for healing heartbreaks and pain. A person should have completed their own healing and attained balance before attempting to unite with someone else romantically, else they’ll be making matters worse. You don’t have to be perfect to love someone, you can’t be perfect anyway, but an imperfect yin and a perfect yang would never form a balanced circle. The other person would get very tired quickly when all they do is take care of your emotional traumas, and they would want a break or a separation at the slightest chance that they get. You would never feel complete on your own (without needing to do this or have that) if these childhood hurts are not properly addressed.

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         So, how do you heal your inner child? Our inner children never die. We grow bigger and learn/experience more things, but who we were when we were 5 or 10 or 15 years old is and will always be a part of us. We may repress all the hurts and disappointments and suffering, but until we properly address them, we will never heal, and not surprisingly, it will affect us for the rest of our lives, consciously or subconsciously.

Heal

REMEMBER

         Think about your childhood. Do this when you are alone and comfortable, at night perhaps, in your bedroom, away from bright lights. Think about everything you can remember. You may listen to this mantra while you do so; I personally enjoy it, and you may too.

         First, think about the good times. The day you were praised for being the best at something. The day your mum surprised you with your first toy car. The day you travelled with your favourite cousin. That sleepover that you enjoyed so much, you practically laughed yourself to sleep, because you were so sleepy, yet, you were having so much fun. Do this for as long as you can. Don’t be distracted by the negative thoughts yet. Go over and over all the good ones.

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SORT YOUR MEMORIES

         The next step would be to list the things that you can remember from your childhood that really hurt. Don’t dwell on them. That is not the point of this exercise. You may feel the pain, that is expected, but don’t be the pain.  The time you were bullied or made fun of. The time your parents’ marriage came to an end and you were confused. The time your uncle passed away. The time you felt unsafe. The time someone called you a monkey. The time you were not played with because of your tribal marks. The time you were publicly embarrassed. The time your father called you an idiot. The day your mum had an accident. The day you were beaten. The day you felt cheated on. It’s okay to cry. Remember, don’t be the pain. Don’t start to build up resentment and hatred. Detach. You may jot these experiences down, but you don’t have to. You may feel the urge to stop this exercise but try not to.

LET GO

         The next step is to consciously let the pain go. Forgive those that you need to forgive, although it may be hard. Let everything that is holding you back and affecting you negatively now, whether you realize it or not, go. You may imagine that your young self is swimming in a lake, away from all the pain. You may visualize that your young self is covered with a bright light, and all the pain is escaping through their forehead. Visualize letting all the pain and hurt and resentment go. Don’t hold on to it. Why do you want to hold on it? What purpose does it/would it serve to you? What gain do you intend to acquire by holding on to resentment, distrust and pain? I understand that it hurts, and it is not so easy, but let it go. Let all of it go.

ADOPT AND HEAL

         When you have done this, visualize holding your young self in your arms or holding their hands, adoring them, acknowledging their pain, feeling everything that they felt. Adopt this young self, this young you, as if they were your child. You know everything that they’ve been through. You know where they lived as a child. You know what happened when they were 6. You know this child better than anyone does and ever will. So, the best and only person that can adopt and heal this child is you. You know about all the love that he never felt, and how hard it was for her. It is now your responsibility to take care of him or her. The big question is: are you going to continue to remind him of all the negative experiences that he had, and all the pain that she has gone through, or are you going to help him or her move on from it and embrace healing and relief? Now that he has been found, and she is before you, what do you intend to do about this child? How do you intend to make it up to him or her? How do you intend to make her feel beautiful, and love her? How do you intend to help him express his artistic abilities and assist her with expressing her passions? How do you intend to give this hurt child a voice? You owe it to him/her; nobody else owes this child anything except you. Nobody. Do you remember the day the day she was ridiculed? How do you intend to honour her and help her heal? How do you intend to make him feel naturally handsome or help her feel appreciated? 

         It is now up to you to make the right decisions, to nurture and honour your inner child. Remember, if you need to discuss with me further or you need a free reading, you can always reach out to me.  Love, light, and healing!

8 Steps to Moving On from a Union/Relationship

As a clairsentient tarot/oracle card-reader, I have told people to “please move on” from relationships that they needed to leave or accept their end, several times, without actually guiding them through how to. Based on my personal/non-personal experiences, it never works that way. One minute you’re like “yeah, of course, my mama didn’t raise a weakling, plus romantic relationships are for losers”, the next minute you’re listening to “insert heartbreak song”, crying yourself to sleep, if you can gather enough strength to.

Before I go into the 8 steps, as per the title, I came across a Mooji video and I would like to go over the lessons from it with you first:
a. You must not try to catch anyone; you are not a spider. If you are insecure and you feel unworthy when you are all by yourself—if you don’t feel beautiful/intelligent/amazing until someone tells you you are—a love/romantic relationship is the very last thing you want to be in. Deal with those insecurities first. You need to heal your inner child first.
b.  Watch out for a tendency to cling. Relationships don’t work by trying to make them work. There must be freedom in a union; there is no need to “hold”/own anyone.
c. Inner strength, wisdom, and clarity are important qualities for anyone in a union. Without these things, nothing lasts, and nothing is fully/truly enjoyed.
d. Relationships are not meant to be secured/kept; they are to be enjoyed. Intension creates tension. When you are empty of any kind of need—to be approved of, to be loved by anyone in particular—you find peace. When you are free/at peace within yourself, everything and everyone wants to be with you. Separate what you (think you) want from what you really need for the sake of your own self-development.

e. How much you have “invested” or given in a relationship doesn’t matter. It is not an insurance plan. Don’t make it one.

To move on from a relationship that no longer serves you, perhaps, one that never served you, or one that destroyed your self-esteem and hurt you much more than it provided healing and happiness to you, before/after you remove yourself from your head and your emotions, before/after separating yourself from the pain and hurt and removing yourself from the upheaval, these are things that you should consider:

1. Acceptance & Hope:
Accept that it really is over. The longer you continue to tell yourself that it is not, although you know very well that it is, the more delay you would be causing to your healing. You would be causing yourself more pain than you deserve by doing so. This may take you a while, as this is the most-painful step of all. Take your time. 

Be hopeful that there will always be something better- a better feeling, a better experience, true happiness. Trust that God/the universe will always bring what’s yours to you. Whether or not someone “better” than them comes into the picture is not the point; it is not something that you should worry about. Trust that if your heart did not fit in a particular person’s “compartment” (for long/forever), as much as you tried to shove it in, it can fit in someone else’s, and there will be no shoving, covering or “squeezing-in” necessary. However, trust that your heart is okay all by itself; it does not need to fit into anyone or anything to be happy.

Whether it is the affection, the intimacy, the “satisfaction”, or anything else that you found in this person that you doubt if you will find in anyone else, be hopeful that there will be better times ahead when you get yourself out of the rut, get yourself out of your head, and look ahead to what is next, the bigger picture, at your own pace. Be hopeful that what is good for you will be given to you, what you need, what is really valuable, as opposed to what you think you need/can’t do without.

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

2. Forgiveness:
Forgive yourself. Forgive the other person. Whether you feel/think it was your fault that it ended or it was their fault, accept that everything went on exactly as it was designed to, to teach you the lessons that you need to learn. There was nothing you could have done to change the current outcome. If you slept with them, or felt that you were vulnerable/open/trusting with them (and it hurts your emotions/ego, in a way, that you were), forgive yourself and forgive them. Free yourself. Don’t hold any resentment in. This experience is supposed to be a catalyst for something greater; don’t hinder your soul’s growth.

Forgiveness

Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

3. Self-Pride:
A queen! A king! That is what you are, and I’m not saying it because everyone is a queen/king these days. It’s because it is true. Be proud of all that you were, you are, and will be. You are worthy of love and healing, and new, happy beginnings in life. There will only be one of you on this earth; be mindful of what you do to this one you- how you treat him/her, how you treat yourself.

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

4. Self-Love:
Hold yourself. Be proud of yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Hold yourself. Appreciate yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Embrace them all. When you love yourself, you will seek to improve yourself. Right?

Don’t love yourself for that person, so they would notice that you’re all good without them. You would be doing it all wrong. Improve yourself for you. Forget about them. Seek to know you, to be with you, to be comfortable and happy with you- with your own self.

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

5. Letting Go/Release:
“Will he come back?”
“Will she come back?”
“Will he/she apologize?”
“Will they break up?”
“Will he/she suffer too?”
Oh, no! Your spirit-guides are telling you to let go. If you are hesitant about letting go, because you’ve held on to the pain for a while and you don’t know what you are without it, give it to your guides. They will take care of it for you. Give your worries and desires and all your secret/open wishes to your helpers. Say a prayer about it. They will hold your hurt for you. They will take care of it, and heal it. They never let go.

You, however, need to let go, to let grow, to forgive/forget about all these things that are still holding you back, things that are still making you suffer. If you don’t let go, you will hurt yourself and your current/future relationships. “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die”- Malachy McCourt (1998).

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

6. Nature:
Have you ever taken a sit close to a sea or a river and just felt the serenity and peace? Rinsed your faced after bawling your eyes out, perhaps? Or spent time in a garden of flowers? Or spent time in a nice building with art? Or just stayed outdoors and watched people walk by? Instead of sitting at home, allowing yourself to be miserable, go out. Clear your head. Forget about meeting another person for now, especially if the separation is fresh. This is what people tend to do- look for replacements very quickly when a lot of issues need attention/healing. They settle for less or repeat cycles all over again because they want to avoid the learning [which is also the painful] process. Retreat and find healing first. Now is the time for you, the time for your self-development, the time to go over what you have learnt/should be learning, the time to enter into a new phase.

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

7. Fun & Playfulness:
Yes, I said take some time to be with yourself, to feel nature’s serenity and peace, but you also need to do something fun. You are not alone in this world, in both the spiritual/physical realm. If you have good friends/family members, you can rely on them at this time. However, be mindful of the kind of people that you spend time with, because they could either aid your movement to the right direction/choices or mar it. Cheer up!

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Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

8. Strength:
I find strength in expressing myself through poetry when I experience confusing/intense feelings. Lately, I’ve been having this intense urge to learn how to draw/paint, although the last time I checked, I couldn’t draw a decent stick figure. Haha! You might find strength in the arts—writing, painting, singing, drawing—in designing, in researching, in whatever, in praying. Do more of these healthy/productive things that make you feel better. Drugs and alcohol will take you down a very dangerous path. You’ve already been through so much; don’t do worse things to yourself in your quest to help/calm yourself. The only way to stop thinking about something is to think about something else. Whether or not this person will return or do anything else should be none of your business now (or ever). Discover your strengths; they help you stay strong in tough times.

Strength

Spirit Messages Daily, John Holland

I give free readings if you want one; DM me on Instagram [aderiounke] or send me an email. If you need to find strength/confide in anyone, I am always here to listen and help. Think about these things that I have mentioned. Love, happiness, peace, growth, and light!