Do you know what it means, do you know how it feels, to be one of the living at a time when you are dead?
To not be of that world, the one you left behind, or be fully in that one, the one that is ahead.
You are able to move but you can barely walk. You are able to say words but you can barely talk. You are very sensitive but you can barely sense. You remember how to remember but you can barely think.
You are able to hear but you very barely know. It’s hard for you to understand, and so painfully so. You are able to look but you can barely see. You’re hanging in midair; you don’t have any wings.
To not be able to rewind and start all over again, or be able to move on, and fly far far away.
Do you know what it means when everything means nothing? Do you know how it feels when you cannot feel?
Earth Magic Oracle Card
Fog is simply a low cloud, a blanket of water crystals that has not gained the density of raindrops. The thicker it is, the more it shrouds in it’s damp, billowy arms. It can be so thick that it makes it nearly impossible to see directly in front of us. During those times, silence makes its own sound as we pause and allow ourselves to be enveloped in this shroud of impenetrable density. We may even feel as if we can do nothing but be still and await what is to be revealed.
Yet even within the thickest fog, we can be assured that it will eventually turn off as the sun’s rays infiltrate the veil. Once they do so, we can anticipate how the light and warmth will bring us welcome relief from the cold. As the sun continues to disperse the fog, our surroundings become illuminated, and we have the opportunity to continue onward.
You are enmeshed in confusion and uncertainty, and are unsure if it will ever clear up. This is not the best time to make decisions, particularly any major ones. Know that this foggy veil will eventually dissolve. Although there may be ways you are unconsciously contributing to this state, the greater truth is that this is simply a cycle you are moving through, and like all things, this too shall pass.
Allow yourself to feel confused – in fact, decide to be confused. No matter what attempts you make right now to make things happen or move in any specific direction out of impatience or frustration, you risk only creating more confusion and uncertainty. So, be still and patient. Wait for that first glimmer of awareness to life the veil so that you can see the choices before you more clearly and can then choose to align yourself with the will of Spirit.
We start to fight our demons when we stop fighting, suppressing our emotions, keeping our hurts in. When we accept transformation, and release our hearts for mending, roll with the wheel of fortune, and open our souls for healing. When we accept the very truth that each end is a new begining.
A plate of pain keeps the potential heartbreaker away. Two glasses of my old tears daily will help me not go astray. I am strong and I need no one’s attention, but I want to be desired, and I want affection, but I was hurt, I don’t want a repetition, but I want love, and I can feel the tension.
I don’t cry. I don’t cry anymore because there’s a pool of my tears in my heart, and I like to swim in it, or go down, down, down, and drown, when a potential One comes too close to my feelings’ flat. If anyone is to decide when I drown, it has to be me, myself and I. Would you give another potential pretentious, manipulative dingbat a chance to decide when you die?
Six planets are in retrograde in my natal chart, and venus used to be one of them, but she’s not anymore. My venus is dead; a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.
I was licking my wounds but you stopped me. You wanted to do it so I let you. You licked and sucked till my wounds became scars. Then, you cut me again at the exact same spots.
So, here I am, a damn mess, studying our synastry chart for the 50th time, fiddling with tarot cards, tiredlessly hoping you’d come back. I want your tongue and yours alone, and I know that even if you return, you would lick me up so you can cut me again.
Why are you looking to the devil to set you free? It only tightens your chains; is that fact so hard to see? The devil comes in white, the devil dresses in pink, the devil desses in gold, the devil desses in green. The devil dresses in several colours; don’t admire when you ought to flee.
It numbs your pain, and in its absence, it puts you in pain…