Moderation

As much as the sun is loved and adored,
nobody wants to see it at midnight.
Don’t overdo anything
because you have shone brighter
than they did,
or you can shine brighter
than they can;
allow someone else
whenever it’s their turn.

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Beautiful

Beautiful

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
literally.
If you can sincerely find
someone or something else beautiful,
especially one that is often considered otherwise,
without an iota of doubt,
you are beautiful too.

I am You

I am a long poem;
you read parts of me often.
I find bits of me in my thoughts;
you find bits of you in my words.
You read my voice in your voice;
you see your words in my words.
It’s your whole truth sometimes,
and sometimes, it is not.
I am you sometimes,
and sometimes, I am not,
and at other times,
you are not exactly sure.

Beautifool II

Isn’t it a crying shame, darling,
that you worry so much about being beautiful,
so much so that you don’t know how good it is to be.
You don’t enjoy the beauty of being,
and you don’t know what beauty is,
or perhaps you do,
you see the beauty in other people clearly,
but go blind when you see yourself.

Do you just see beauty,
or do you feel it?
Do you hear it?
Do you know it?

Possessed by Possessiveness

I heard your voice within a second,
and unlearnt my lessons within two.
I immediately assumed that your
“I miss you” meant you truly loved me too.
Your demons came back three times stronger,
one possessing the other,
and then possessing you,
to take absolute control of me,
till you became the worst you could be.

Mrs

MrsI am experimenting a style of prose writing in which a character narrates the whole story to the reader in a personal way, like the reader is a spirit/ghost and the chosen character is the only one that can see them, like a secret best-friend of some sort. I am still working on it, not done yet. Enjoy!

We just spoke, for three hours straight. Tomorrow is ‘the day’, our wedding day, and to say that I am extremely nervous would be to say the least of the emotions that I feel right now. There are probably ten more that I cannot describe with words. See my palms; they are so sweaty.

My friends are having a good time in the room next to this one; I just don’t know if I need to let them know that I am freaking out. I need to use the bathroom so bad too.

Before I leave for the  bathroom, I just want you to know that I am very happy; don’t get me wrong, but just as worried as I am happy, worried that something might go wrong with this contract that I’m about to sign. I’ll tell you about the call I had with my man first, after my bathroom break, and tell you something I’ve never told anyone later.

I’m back. Sit with me on my bed.

About the call, I had never heard him say the words “I love you” so many times in three hours! He kept going on about how happy he was that we were finally getting married, and how lucky he was, and all that. I had never heard him talk so much, so I guess he is nervous too. In-between sentences, he would ask if I was listening, and I would say “yes”. Then he would tell me he loves me and I would reply that I love him even more. There were about ten “I love you”-“I love you even more” pauses before I told him I needed to sleep, and that he needed to sleep too.

There is a problem though. Well, I don’t know if it’s a problem or I’m just being petty. I had never really considered it an issue before now but I can’t get it out of my mind. He hit me a year ago with his belt, I’ll tell you why later, and I’m scared that he might do it again. I had never seen anyone that angry in real life.

He promised it would never repeat itself, I believed him, and since there were no permanent scars on my neck and arms, I didn’t tell anyone. Giving an account and telling someone else my business wasn’t at all necessary.

This is the thing- he has anger issues that I have refused to fully address, and I might be done for. Babe becomes a beast, a raging monster, whenever he’s angry. Oh! I should tell you something else before I forget. I went to an astrologer/psychic out of curiosity. I’m a Leo and he’s a Scorpio, if you would like to know. She said we have several Venus-Chiron-Mars-Pluto connections in our synastry analysis, and because those aspects are hard, we both need to learn to understand each other and we would be fine. He came up as The Emperor reversed/4 of Pentacles,and I came up as the Queen of Pentacles/Strength cards, in the readings.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said “yes”, but I love him. I don’t ever want to get a divorce; the thought of it is so frightening, because I hated it when my parents got a divorce. I don’t know; I don’t know what I’ll do if he ever hits me again.